| |
|
Lawyers
-
Blonde
&
Dumb
-
Got
to
be
Haitian
-
Bad
Dream
-
The
Parrot
-
Spaghetti
-
Long
Distance
-
Pakìn
-
Didn't
Feel
a
thing
-
Missing
Cock
-
Demande
d'augmentation
-
Carte
d'identite
|
|
Carte
d'identite |
Une
petite
fille
de 9
ans
demande
à sa
maman
:
-
Quel
âge
as-tu,
maman
? -
Cela
ne
se
demande
pas
ma
chérie,
lui
répond
sa
mère.
-
Combien
tu
mesures,
maman
? -
Cela
n'est
pas
important
ma
chérie,
reprend
la
mère.
-
Maman,
pourquoi
toi
et
papa
avez
divorcé
?
Redemande
la
petite
fille.
-
Cela
ne
te
regarde
pas
ma
chérie,
dit
la
mère
en
terminant
la
discussion.
La
petite
fille
demanda
à sa
meilleure
copine
pourquoi
les
adultes
ne
parlent
pas
de
ces
choses-là.
Sa
copine
lui
dit
:
C'est
vraiment
simple,
toutes
les
réponses
à
nos
questions
sont
sur
leur
carte
d'identité.
Le
lendemain
la
petite
fille
fouille
dans
le
sac
à
mains
de
sa
mère
et
trouve
sa
carte
d'identité.
Elle
est
ravie
de
voir
que
son
amie
disait
vrai,
toutes
les
réponses
à
ses
questions
s'y
trouvent
!
Elle
court
alors
voir
sa
mère
et
lui
dit
:
-
Maman,
je
sais
ton
âge.
- Ah
oui
? Et
j'ai
quel
âge
?
- 36
ans.
Et
je
sais
combien
tu
mesures.
- Ah
oui
?
Combien
?
- 1
mètre
70.
Et
je
sais
aussi
pourquoi
toi
et
papa
avez
divorcé.
- Ça,
ça
m'étonnerait
vraiment
!
- Tu
as
eu
un F
en
sexe...
et
çà,
c'est
vraiment
pas
une
bonne
note |
|
Demande
d'augmentation |
La
Maîtresse
de
maison
très
énervée
par
cette
requête
lui
demande:
- Et
pourquoi
Ti
Marie...
voulez-vous
une
augmentation?
'
- Ti
marie
:
'Eh
byen
Madam,
pou
3
rezon.
La
1ère,
mwen
konn
pase
pi
byen
pase
madanm.'
-
Madame:
'Et
qui
vous
a
dit
ça?
- Ti
Marie
: 'Mesye
a wi,
Madam'.
-
Madame:
'Ohhhhhhhhhh!'
- Ti
Marie:
'2zyèm
rezon
madam:
manje
m
kuit
yo
pi
bon
pase
pa
madanm
yo.
-
Madame
bouleversée
:
'Et
qui
dit
que
vous
cuisinez
mieux
que
moi?'
- Ti
Marie
: 'Mesye
a wi,
madanm.
-
Madame:
'Ohhhhh……….
Ohhhhh…..
!'
- Ti
Marie
: '3
yèm
rezon,
madam
:
mwen
konn
fè
bagay
pi
byen
pase
madanm.'
-
Madame
(hors
d'elle):
'Et
c'est
Monsieur
qui
vous
a
dit
que
vous
faites
mieux
l'amour
que
moi?'
- Ti
Marie
:
'Non,
Madame.
Se
jeran-an,
wi,
Madam!'
|
|
The
Missing
Cock |
A
Priest
has
a
number
of
hens
and
one
rooster.
One
Saturday
he
goes
into
the
coop
to
get
some
eggs,
and
can't
find
the
rooster....
This
bothers
him
because
he
knows
that
some
people
in
the
community
engage
in
cock
fighting
and
may
have
stolen
the
cock.
The
priest
figures
he
can
find
the
culprit
at
church
the
next
day.
On
Sunday,
he
gets
up
in
the
pulpit
and
says,
'All
of
you
who
have
a
cock,
stand
up'!
ALL
THE
MEN
IN
THE
CHURCH
STOOD
UP.
'No,
no!'
says
the
priest,
'I
mean
all
of
you
who
have
seen
a
cock,
please
stand
up'.
ALL
THE
WOMEN
IN
THE
CHURCH
STOOD
UP.
No,
no!',
says
the
priest.
'I
mean,
all
of
you
who
have
seen
a
cock
that
doesn't
belong
to
you,
stand
up'.
HALF
OF
THE
WOMEN
IN
THE
CHURCH
STOOD
UP.
'No!
You
still
don't
understand.
All
of
you
who
have
seen
my
cock,
stand
up'.
ALL
OF
THE
NUNS,
HALF
THE
ALTAR
BOYS,
AND
ONE
GOAT
STOOD
UP.. |
|
Didnt
Feel
a
Thing |
A
man
and
woman
are
at a
bar
having
a
few
beers.
They
start
talking
and
soon
realize
they're
both
doctors.
After
an
hour,
the
man
says,
"Hey,
how
about
if
we
sleep
together
tonight?
No
strings
attached."
The
woman
doctor
agrees
to
it.
They
go
back
to
her
place
and
he
goes
in
the
bedroom.
She
goes
into
the
bathroom
and
starts
scrubbing
up
like
she's
about
to
go
into
the
operating
room.
She
scrubs
for
a
good
10
minutes.
At
last,
she
goes
into
the
bedroom
and
they
have
sex.
Afterward,
the
man
says,
"You're
a
surgeon,
aren't
you?"
"Yes,"
says
the
woman,
"how
did
you
know?"
"I
could
tell
by
the
way
you
scrubbed
up
before
we
started,"
he
says.
"That
makes
sense,"
says
the
woman.
"You're
an
anesthesiologist,
aren't
you?"
"Yeah,
how
did
you
know?"
asks
the
man.
The
woman
replies,
"Because
I
didn't
feel
a
thing." |
|
Nosy
Son |
|
This
little
boy
wakes
up 3
nights
in a
row
when
he
hears
a
thumping
sound
coming
from
his
parents
bedroom.
Finally
one
morning
he
goes
to
his
mom
and
says,
"Mommy,
every
night
I
hear
you
and
daddy
making
noise
and
when
I
look
in
you're
bouncing
up
and
down
on
him".
His
mom
is
taken
by
surprise
and
says.
"Oh...
well
I'm
bouncing
on
his
stomach
because
he's
fat
and
that
makes
him
thin
again."
And
the
boy
says,
"That
won't
work."
His
mom
says,
"Why?".
The
boy
replies,
"Because
the
lady
next
door
comes
by
after
you
leave
each
day
and
blows
him
back
up!"
|
|
The
Pharmacist |
|
A girl asks her boyfriend to come
over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big
event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to
go out and have sex for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he
has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some
condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy
everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the
pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack or
family pack. The boy insists on the family pack, he explains to the pharmacist
that he is expecting to have a big night with his girlfriend tonight.
That night, the boy shows up at
the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited
for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the
dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers
to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in
prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend finally leans over
and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."... ..
The boy turns, and whispers back,
"I had no idea your father was a
pharmacist."...
|
|
10
years
alone |
This guy is stranded on a desert
island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He
thinks to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck gets a little closer and he
thinks, "It's not a boat." The speck gets even closer and he thinks, "It's not a
raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet
suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and she says, "How long has it been
since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years!" he says.
She reaches over, unzips this waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out
a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says,
"Man , oh man! Is that good!"
Then she asked, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?
"He replies, "Ten years!" She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the
right, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He takes a long swig and says,
"Wow, that's fantastic!"
Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet
suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you've had some REAL
fun?"And the mans replies,
"My God! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there!"
|
|
Smart
little
Johnny |
|
A
new
teacher
was
trying
to
make
use
of
her
psychology
courses.
She
started
her
class
by
saying,
"Everyone
who
thinks
you're
stupid,
stand
up!"
After
a
few
seconds,
Little
Johnny
stood
up.
The
teacher
said,
"Do
you
think
you're
stupid,
Little
Johnny?"
"No,
ma'am,
but
I
hate
to
see
you
standing
there
all
by
yourself!" |
|
Horny
Detective |
A
man
suspected
his
wife
of
seeing
another
man.
So,
he
hired
a
famous
Chinese
detective,
Mr.
Sui
Tansow
Pok,
to
watch
and
report
any
activities
that
may
develop.
A
few
days
later,
he
received
this
report
--
Most
honorable
sir:
You
leave
house
- He
come
house
I
watch
- He
and
she
leave
house
I
follow
- He
and
she
get
on
train
I
follow
- He
and
she
go
in
hotel
I
climb
tree,
look
in
window
- He
kiss
she
-
She
kiss
he -
He
strip
she
-
She
strip
he -
He
play
with
she
-
She
play
with
he
I
play
with
me
-Fall
out
of
tree,
not
see |
|
Management
Balls |
When "Blue Collar" workers get
together, they talk about football.
When "Middle Management" gets together, they talk about tennis.
When "Top Management" gets together, they talk about golf
Logical Conclusion: The higher up you are in management, the smaller your balls |
|
Newlywed
Hillbilly |
A
hillbilly
gets
married
and
on
his
wedding
night
he
calls
his
father
to
get
some
tips
on
what
to
do,
since
he
had
never
been
with
a
woman
before.
So
he
calls
up
his
dad
and
asks
him,
"what
do I
do
first?"
His
dad
says,
"take
her
clothes
off
and
put
her
in
bed."
The
hillbilly
calls
his
dad
5
minutes
later
and
says,
"she's
naked
and
in
bed
what
do I
do
now?"
His
dad
says,
"take
your
clothes
off
and
get
in
bed."
He
calls
back
5
minutes
later
and
says,
"I'm
naked
and
in
bed
with
her
what
do I
do
now?"
His
dad's
patience
is
now
running
out
so
he
says,
"look
son
do I
have
to
spell
everything
out?
Just
put
the
hardest
thing
on
your
body
where
she
pees!"
The
hillbilly
calls
up 5
mins
later
and
says,
"OK
Dad,
I
have
my
head
in
the
toilet
bowl
what
do I
do
now?" |
|
Made
for
a
Woman |
This guy walks into a bar and two
steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar but decides, 'What the heck, I really want
a drink.' When the gay waiter approaches he says to the customer, 'What's the
name of your penis?'
The customer says, 'Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink'. The
gay waiter says, 'I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of
your penis. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the slogan 'Just Do It.' That
guy down at the end of the bar calls his Snickers, because 'It really
Satisfies."
The customer looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a
second to think it over. So the customer asks the man sitting to his left who is
sipping on a beer and asks, 'Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?' The man to
left, with a smile, looks back and says, 'TIMEX.' The thirsty customer asks,
'Why Timex?' The fella proudly replies, 'Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on
tickin'!'
A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right sipping on a
fruity margarita. 'So, what do you call your penis?' The man to his right turns
to him and proudly exclaims, 'FORD', because quality is Job 1,' Then adds,
'Have you driven a Ford, lately?'
Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a moment before he comes up
with a name for his penis. He turns to the bartender and exclaims, 'The name of
my penis is Secret.' Now give me my beer.' The bartender begins to pour the
customer a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, 'Why secret?'
The customer says 'STRONG ENOUGH
FOR A MAN BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!
|
|
Little
Johnny
(Again) |
Little
Johnny
sees
his
Daddy's
car
pass
the
playground
and
go
into
the
woods.
Curious,
he
follows
the
car
and
sees
Daddy
and
Aunt
Jane
in a
"Passionate
Embrace.
"Little
Johnny
finds
this
so
exciting
and
can
barely
contain
himself
as
he
runs
home
and
starts
to
tell
his
mother
excitedly,
"MOMMY,
MOMMY,
I
WAS
AT
THE
PLAYGROUND
AND
DADDY
AND...."
Mommy
tells
him
to
slow
down.
She
wants
to
hear
the
story.
So
Little
Johnny
tells
her.
"I
was
at
the
playground
and
I
saw
Daddy's
car
go
into
the
woods
with
Aunt
Jane.
I
went
back
to
look
and
he
was
giving
Aunt
Jane
a
big
kiss,
then
he
helped
her
take
off
her
shirt,
then
Aunt
Jane
helped
Daddy
take
his
pants
off,
then
Aunt
Jane
laid
down
on
the
seat,
then
Daddy...."
At
this
point,
Mommy
cut
him
off
and
said,
"Johnny,
this
is
such
an
interesting
story,
suppose
you
save
the
rest
of
it
for
supper
time.
I
want
to
see
the
look
on
Daddy's
face
when
you
tell
it
tonight."
At
the
dinner
table,
Mommy
asks
Little
Johnny
to
tell
his
story.
Johnny
starts
his
story,
describing
the
car
going
into
the
woods,
the
undressing,
laying
down
on
the
seat,
and
"....then
Daddy
and
Aunt
Jane
did
that
same
thing
Mommy
and
Uncle
Bill
used
to
do
when
Daddy
was
in
the
Navy." |
|
Lawyers |
A very successful lawyer parked his
brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the
driver's side. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911,
and within minutes a policeman pulled up.
Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started
screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day
before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what
the body shop did to it.
When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer
shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how
materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions
that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Don't you
know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn
off when the truck hit you."
"My God!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex? |
|
Blonde
&
Dumb |
On a
plane
bound
for
New
York
the
flight
attendant
approached
a
blonde
sitting
in
the
first
class
section
and
requested
that
she
moves
to
economy
since
she
didn’t
have
a
first
class
ticket.
The
blonde
replied,
"I'm
blonde,
I'm
beautiful,
I'm
going
to
New
York
and
I'm
not
moving."
Not
wanting
to
argue
with
a
customer
the
flight
attendant
asked
the
co-pilot
to
speak
to
her.
He
went
to
talk
with
the
woman
asking
her
to
please
move
out
of
the
first
class
section.
Again,
the
blonde
replied,
"I'm
blonde,
I'm
beautiful,
I'm
going
to
New
York
and
I'm
not
moving.
The
co-pilot
returned
to
the
cockpit
and
asked
the
captain
what
he
should
do.
The
captain
said,
"I'
m
married
to a
blonde,
and
I
know
how
to
handle
this."
He
went
to
the
first
class
section
and
whispered
in
the
blonde's
ear.
She
immediately
jumped
up
and
ran
to
the
economy
section
mumbling
to
herself,
"Why
didn't
anyone
just
say
so?"
Surprised,
the
flight
attendant
and
the
co-pilot
asked
the
captain
what
he
said
to
her.
The
captain
replied:
"I
told
her
the
first
class
section
wasn't
going
to
New
York." |
|
The
Husband
Store
(Go
to
top) |
|
A
store
that
sells
husbands
has
just
opened
in
New
York
City,
Where
a
woman
may
go
to
choose
a
husband.
Among
the
instructions
at
the
entrance
is a
description
of
how
the
store
operates.
You
may
visit
the
store
ONLY
ONCE!
There
are
six
floors
and
the
attributes
of
the
men
increase
as
the
shopper
ascends
the
flights.
There
is,
however,
a
catch
........
You
may
choose
any
man
from
a
particular
floor,
or
you
may
choose
to
go
up a
floor,
but
you
cannot
go
back
down
except
to
exit
the
building!
So,
a
woman
goes
to
the
Husband
Store
to
find
a
husband.
On
the
first
floor
the
sign
on
the
door
reads:
Floor
1 -
These
men
have
jobs
and
love
the
Lord.
The
second
floor
sign
reads:
Floor
2 -
These
men
have
jobs,
love
the
Lord,
and
love
kids.
The
third
floor
sign
reads:
Floor
3 -
These
men
have
jobs,
love
the
Lord,
love
kids,
and
are
extremely
good
looking.
'Wow,'
she
thinks,
but
feels
compelled
to
keep
going.
She
goes
to
the
fourth
floor
and
sign
reads:
Floor
4 -
These
men
have
jobs,
love
the
Lord,
love
kids,
and
are
drop-dead
good
looking
and
help
with
the
housework.
'Oh,
mercy
me!'
she
exclaims,
'I
can
hardly
stand
it!'
Still,
she
goes
to
the
fifth
floor
and
sign
reads:
Floor
5 -
These
men
have
jobs,
love
the
Lord,
love
kids,
are
drop-
dead
gorgeous,
help
with
the
housework,
and
have
a
strong
romantic
streak.
She
is
so
tempted
to
stay,
but
she
goes
to
the
sixth
floor
and
the
sign
reads:
Floor
6 -
You
are
visitor
4,363,012
to
this
floor.
There
are
no
men
on
this
floor.
This
floor
exists
solely
as
proof
that
women
are
impossible
to
please.
Thank
you
for
shopping
at
the
Husband
Store.
Watch
your
step
as
you
exit
the
building,
and
have
a
nice
day!
|
|
Got
to
be
Haitian
(Go
to
top) |
|
One
day
a
Florist
goes
to a
Barber
for
a
haircut.
After
the
cut,
he
goes
to
pay
the
Barber
and
the
Barber
replies:
'I
am
Sorry,
I
cannot
accept
money
from
you;
I am
doing
a
Community
Service.
The
Florist
is
happy
and
leaves
the
shop.
The
next
morning
when
the
Barber
goes
to
open
his
shop,
there
is a
Thank
you
Card
and
a
dozen
roses
waiting
at
his
door.
A
Cop
goes
for
a
haircut
and
he
also
goes
to
pay
the
Barber
and
the
barber
replies:
'I
am
Sorry,
I
cannot
accept
money
from
you;
I am
doing
a
Community
Service'.
The
Cop
is
happy
and
leaves
the
shop.
The
next
morning
when
the
Barber
goes
to
open
his
shop,
there
is a
Thank
you
Card
and
a
dozen
Donuts
waiting
at
his
door.
A Haitian goes for a haircut and
he also goes to pay the Barber and the barber replies: 'I am Sorry, I cannot
accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service'. The Haitian is of course
very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber
goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there:
A Dozen Haitians waiting for free haircut |
|
Bad
Dream
(Go
to
top) |
A
guy's
10
year
old
son
wakes
up
screaming
one
night
so
he
runs
into
the
room
wondering
what's
wrong.
The
son
says
"Daddy,
I
dreamed
that
Grandma
died".
Daddy
assures
the
son
that
grandma
is
just
fine
and
goes
back
to
bed,
The
next
morning,
they
hear
that
sure
enough,
Grandma
died
last
night.
A
week
later,
the
son
wakes
up
screaming
again
and
like
last
time,
Daddy
comes
running
in
and
asks
what's
wrong.
The
son
says
"Daddy,
I
dreamed
that
Grandpa
died".
Daddy
assures
the
son
that
grandpa
is
just
fine
and
goes
back
to
bed.
The
next
morning,
Grandpa
is
dead
as
well.
At
this
point,
Father
is
starting
to
wonder.
A
week
later,
son
wakes
up
screaming
so
Daddy
runs
into
the
room
wondering
what's
wrong.
The
son
says
"Daddy,
I
dreamed
that
Daddy
died".
Daddy
assures
the
son
that
he
is
just
fine
and
goes
back
to
bed.
Needless
to
say,
Daddy
is
scared
shitless.
He
doesn't
sleep
at
all
that
night,
doesn't
bother
with
any
meals
during
the
day
because
he
is
afraid
of
food
poisoning,
walks
to
work
so
he
doesn't
risk
being
in a
car
accident
and
has
a
really
crappy
day.
When
he
comes
home,
his
wife
greets
him
and
asks
how
his
day
went.
"I
have
had
the
worst
day
of
my
life",
he
replies.
She
answers,
"You
think
you've
had
a
bad
day?
The
milkman
died
on
our
front
steps
this
morning." |
|
The
Parrot
(Go
to
top) |
A
woman
was
thinking
about
finding
a
pet
to
help
keep
her
company
at
home.
She
decided
she
would
like
to
find
a
beautiful
parrot;
it
wouldn't
be
as
much
work
as a
dog,
and
it
would
be
fun
to
hear
it
speak.
She
went
to a
pet
shop
and
immediately
spotted
a
large,
beautiful
parrot.
She
went
to
the
owner
of
the
store
and
asked
how
much.
The
owner
said
it
was
$50.
Delighted
that
such
a
rare
looking
and
beautiful
bird
wasn't
more
expensive,
she
agreed
to
buy
it.
The
owner
looked
at
her
and
said,
"Look,
I
should
tell
you
first
that
this
bird
used
to
live
in a
whorehouse.
Sometimes
it
says
pretty
vulgar
stuff."The
woman
thought
about
this,
but
decided
she
had
to
have
the
bird.
She
said
she
would
buy
it
anyways.
The
petshop
owner
sold
her
the
bird
and
she
took
it
home.
She
hung
the
bird's
cage
up
in
her
living
room
and
waited
for
it
to
say
something.
The
bird
looked
around
the
room,
then
at
her,
and
said,
"New
house,
new
madam."The
woman
was
a
bit
shocked
at
the
implication,
but
then
thought,
"That's
not
so
bad."
A
couple
hours
later,
the
woman's
two
teenage
daughters
returned
from
school.
When
they
inspected
the
bird,
it
looked
at
them
and
said,
"New
house,
new
madam,
new
whores."
The
girls
and
the
woman
were
a
bit
offended
at
first,
but
then
began
to
laugh
about
the
situation.
A
couple
of
hours
later,
the
woman's
husband
came
home
from
work.
The
bird
looked
at
him
and
said,
"New
house,
new
madam,
new
whores;
same
old
faces.
Hi
George!"
|
|
Spaghetti
(Go
to
top) |
For
several
years,
a
married
man
was
having
an
affair
with
an
Italian
woman.
One
night,
she
confided
in
him
that
she
was
pregnant.
He
said
he
would
pay
her
a
large
sum
of
money
if
she
would
go
to
Italy
to
secretly
have
the
child.
If
she
stayed
in
Italy
to
raise
the
child,
he
would
also
provide
child
support
until
the
child
turned
18.
She
agreed,
but
asked
how
he
would
know
when
the
baby
was
born..
To
keep
it
discreet,
he
told
her
to
simply
mail
him
a
post
card,
and
write
'Spaghetti'
on
the
back.
He
would
then
arrange
for
the
child
support
payments
to
begin.
One
day,
about
9
months
later,
he
came
home
to
his
confused
wife.
'Honey,
she
said,
'you
received
a
very
strange
post
card
today.
'Oh,
just
give
it
to
me
and
I'll
explain
it
later,'
he
said.
The
wife
obeyed
and
watched
as
her
husband
read
the
card,
turned
white,
and
fainted.
On
the
card
was
written:
Spaghetti,
Spaghetti,
Spaghetti,
Spaghetti,
Spaghetti.
Three
with
meatballs,
two
without.
Send
extra
sauce.
xoxoxoxoxo,
Elsa
|
|
Long
Distance
Call
(Go
to
top) |
Trois
individus
de
nationalité
américaine,
britannique
et
haitienne
meurent
dans
un
accident
et
se
retrouvent
en
Enfer.
Après
quelques
temps,
l'Américain
désireux
de
savoir
si,
enfin,
Ben
Laden
a
été
attrapé,
sollicite
la
possibilité
de
passer
un
coup
de
fil
vers
l'Amérique..
Le
diable
accepte
et
lui
facture,
aussitôt
le
coup
de
fil
terminé,
les
trois
minutes
à 3
millions
de
dollars.
L'américain
sort
son
carnet
de
chèque
et
s'acquitte
de
sa
dette
sans
sourciller.
Le
britannique,
à
son
tour
sollicite
la
même
faveur
afin
de
s'enquérir
de
la
santé
de
la
Reine
Elisabeth...
Le
diable
accepte
et
lui
facture,
aussitôt
la
conversation
achevée,
les
trois
minutes
à 4
millions
de
dollars
que
notre
am
s'empresse
de
payer.
Ce
fut
enfin
au
tour
de
l'haitien.
Ce
dernier
hésitant
du
fait
de
la
faiblesse
de
ses
moyens,
se
décide
quand
même
à
demander
l'autorisation
d'appeler
en
Haiti
pour
avoir
des
nouvelles
de
l'ile.
Satan
accepte
et
là
commence
une
longue
conversation
téléphonique
au
cours
de
laquelle
l'Haitien
apprend
que
la
plupart
des
usines
et
hôtels
du
pays
ont
fermé,
que
les
hommes
meurent
rapidement
victimes
d'un
empoisonnement
massif
du
riz
qu'on
appel
clorox,
les
jeunes
sont
devenus
cameramen
ou
acteurs
à
cause
des
films
X
qu'ils
tournent
dans
leur
lycée,
les
grèves
sans
fin
sévissent
dans
tous
les
secteurs
etc...
La
conversation
s'achève
enfin
au
bout
de
trois
heures.
L'haitien
osant
à
peine
regarder
le
diable,
lui
demande
en
bégayant,
le
prix
de
la
communication.
Le
diable
tout
serein
répond
:
Oh,
pour
les
trois
heures
ça
fait
15
gourdes
Surpris,
l'haitien
demande
:
Mais
co...
co...
men...
men...comment
ça
se
fait
? Le
diable
lui
répond:
Et
bien,
de
l'Enfer
à
l'Enfer,
c'est
un
appel
local
!
|
|
Pakìn
(Go
to
top) |
|
Yon
ayisyen
tap
vire
ron
nan
yon
pakìn
sanke
li
pa
ka
jwen
yon
ti
plas
menm
poul
pake
machin
li.
Li
di:
-
Bondye
Papa,
ede’m.
Si’w
fè’m
jwen
yon
pakìn,
map
kite
bwè
kleren
e
map
pral
lanmès
chak
dimanch.
Li
poko
fi-n
pale,
yon
plas
parèt
chaaaaw!
Msye
di:
-
Bondye
ou
pa
bezwen
deranje’w,
men
jwen
yonn |
|
*
Why
sex
before
marriage
is
essential
(Video)
* |
|
 |
|
|
|
